My Blog

Belated Promised Poem Post

Wed, 26 May 2010 22:31:28 -0500

I have been far too lax in my Blog posts, so much so that I actually gasped when I saw the date of the last one, almost a year ago! Life is full and far too busy but my intention is to make these posts regular and part of my practice. I am so happy to know that you enjoy the poems I read aloud in class and I want to share them with you whenever you ask. Here are the last two poems, I Married You, by Linda Pastan, May 5, and Ben, by David Budbill, May 19.

I Married You

I married you
for all the wrong reasons,
charmed by your
dangerous family history,
by the innocent muscles, bulging
like hidden weapons
under your shirt,
by your naïve ties, the colors
of painted scraps of sunset.

I was charmed too
by your assumptions
about me: my serenity—
that mirror waiting to be cracked,
my flashy acrobatics with knives
in the kitchen
How wrong we both were
about each other,
and how happy we have been.

Linda Pastan

From Queen of a Rainy Country. © W.W. Norton & Company.

Honing The Skill Of The Mind

Thu, 2 Jul 2009 21:35:08 -0500

A young and boastful champion archer who was feeling quite pleased with himself and impressed with his own prowess, challenged an old Zen master who was renowned for his skill as an archer. The young man demonstrated remarkable technical proficiency when he hit a distant bull's eye on his first try, and then split that arrow with his second shot.

"There," he said to the old man, "see if you can match that!" Undisturbed, the master did not draw his bow, but rather motioned for the young archer to follow him up the mountain. Curious about the old fellow's intentions, the young man followed him high into the mountain until they reached a deep chasm spanned by a rather flimsy and shaky log.

Calmly stepping out onto the middle of the unsteady and perilous bridge, the old master picked a far away tree as a target, drew his bow, and fired a clean, direct hit. "Now it is your turn," he said as he gracefully stepped back onto the safe ground.

Staring with terror into the seemingly bottomless and beckoning abyss, the young man could not force himself to step out onto the log, much less lift his bow to shoot an arrow at the target.

"You have much skill with your bow," the master said, sensing his challenger's predicament, "but you have little skill with the mind that lets loose the shot."

"The real talent is being able to apply your skills even in the most adverse situation- without fear, hesitation, or doubt."

Yoga like archery practice is a path to both physical prowess and mental clarity yet, like the young archer in the story, we sometimes only pay attention to one. When we are new to yoga our focus is naturally on the seemingly esoteric fine points of asana alignment, getting the posture 'right'.

Unfortunately some yogis, though they may become strong, flexible and balanced in their bodies, never discover the most profound and rewarding aspect of yoga. The mental clarity, confidence and balanced judgment we gain from a mindful asana practice which allows us to live skillfully every moment of our lives on and especially off the yoga mat.

May you find not only strength but wisdom in your practice, and the confidence to step onto uncertain footing when life leads you there.
Namaste, Penny

The Rose and the dog

Sat, 6 Jun 2009 16:28:25 -0500

The perfect rose like the perfect Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward Facing Dog) exists only in our minds. When we struggle to bring it to life, clinging to our need for control, it can only lead to suffering. I know this is so and I try to live with this understanding everyday, yet I am always breathless with surprise and dismay whenever I see that my controlling self is once again in the drivers seat, as it was one day this week.

Spring always awakens in me a vision of the perfect garden and early in the season the cool, wet weather with no bugs in sight, seems to promise that it might be possible. This year as always I threw myself into the garden, planting, transplanting, weeding and dreaming with abandon. A neighbor told me of the wonders of composted leaf mulch and I thought this would be perfect for not only mulching and enriching my plants, but a great way to get exercise for both me and Leica my alpha companion.

Many of you know of Leica's love for Wheelboy, the wheelbarrow, a compulsion that propels her out the door and into a frenzy of instinctual herding that must have reached penultimate expression in her German Shepherd genes. The perfect plan seemed to fall into place including the dumping of what turned out to be a mountain of black gold perfectly placed inside our gate right next to the driveway. As we made our way to pick up the first load destined for the garden Leica stopped short and then dove wholeheartedly into the pile gobbling huge mouthfuls of compost, choking in her rush to eat as much as she possibly could before, as she knew I would, I dragged her away from her scrumptious new treat.

I was shocked. What could be so tasty about old leaves? She never ate them when they fell from the trees! Thus my suffering began. How can I keep Leica away from this new found delicacy for as long as it takes to use it up, which looks like it will be years! Why did this happen to my well laid plans, how can I fix it, what's wrong with me that I didn't anticipate this……. and on and on.

The mountain sat there like a huge reproach. Yet it seemed to have a message for me that felt as powerfully compelling as it's taste had been to Leica. Then I saw it. This was a symbol of everything I try and ultimately fail to manage in my life. It was the very approach I brought to my yoga mat when I first began to practice, and it is the way I sometimes navigate my life off the mat, trying futilely to control my experience, manage the world around me and measure up to an ideal me.

Now that I know the message at the heart of my mountain of composted leaves I welcome it as a daily reminder to soften my efforts to manage life and accept what comes. Acceptance not in the sense of defeat but rather as an invitation to look with new eyes, to see from another perspective just the way the world looks when we open our eyes in Adho Mukha Svanasana, Downward Facing Dog pose, upside down and backwards.

As for Leica, I gave up trying to keep her from eating it and as you might expect she simply stopped gobbling compost when she found it was no longer forbidden. As my wise husband suggested, I let nature take it's course, and the outcome was entirely natural.

Namaste, Penny

Finding what’s hidden inside

Tue, 12 May 2009 12:59:23 -0500

It is said that after Michelangelo finished the statue of David, the news of his masterpiece spread far and wide. A nobleman from a distant province heard of it and traveled to see David and meet the sculptor. He was overwhelmed at the sight of the statue and asked Michelangelo how he was able to create such a magnificent work of art. Michelangelo replied that he simply took away everything that wasn't David.

I think we too must chip away at everything that is not our authentic self. As the poet May Sarton said in her poem, Now I Become Myself, life and the people we live with and among cause us to put on masks and to armor ourselves in ways we think we should in order to fit in or please others. At some point in life it’s time to say, “ Now I become myself”, time to look within and ask, who am I, what do I want to do with my life, why am I here?

It seems like an overwhelming task and it takes a great deal of courage simply to ask the questions. It is the work of a lifetime and yoga is a powerful tool we can use to uncover the truth of who we are. Asana practice is not an end in itself. It is not a form of physical fitness, strength training or a social networking tool. When we become familiar with the postures and can feel the alignment in our physical body, these very yoga postures can become gates into our interior world.

The effort and concentration we bring to our asana practice leads us through the gates of the senses and into the presence of stillness. It seems a paradox that as we anchor our attention on the details of our physical experience, we open the door into to a limitless interior space. Here we are free from form and intention, open to intuition and the flash of insight.

When we come to the yoga mat with fixed ideas of who we are, what we are capable of, what we want to get from practice we deny ourselves the opportunity of exploring the interior world of our authentic self. This self is not something we construct according to our wishes, but that unknown and often surprising being that will reveal itself as the person we truly are, as surely as David was buried in marble before Michelangelo freed him.

Namaste, Penny

Is This all there is?

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 08:16:10 -0500

Is this all there is? If, like me, you have been practicing yoga for some time, it may be dawning on you that there is something more to the practice of yoga asanas than an ancient and somewhat exotic form of exercise packaged and marketed to appeal to 21st century fitness buffs.
To experience only this one facet of yoga is like looking at the surface of a pond with no understanding that below lies a world of infinite beauty and depth.

“There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground” wrote the 13th century Sufi poet Rumi. I think he is saying there are hundreds of ways to honor the beauty and mystery of life. In the same way, asana practice is just one of the ways to enter yoga, one of the techniques or tools we use to dive beneath the surface of our lives to gain true insight, peace and inner strength.

If you are one of my students you know how much I love poetry and share my passion for it in class. Kenneth Rexroth wrote in his poem Runaway,

“I wish I could build a fire
in you that would never go out.
I wish I could be sure that deep in you
Was a magnet to draw you always home.”

Even though this poem was written to a lover or a child it seems to me that it applies to all of us. We do have a fire in us that will never go out, a magnet deep inside that is always drawing us home. That fire, the magnet, our home is Truth. Truth is simple and it is strong, yet it is often obscured and painful to recognize and sometimes seems too difficult to act on.

As we become more proficient and dedicated in our practice we begin to access a deep knowledge that exists in every fiber and sensation of the body. Yoga practice fans the fire of truth. The knowledge of what is true for us is the magnet deep inside that draws us always closer to home, our own Truth.

With consistent asana practice our physical bodies become stronger, more flexible, better balanced and healthier over time. Yoga practice builds our bodies into strong containers. Amazingly we find that as we travel through life we can rely not only on our physical strength but on our emotional strength as well, our balanced body and our balanced judgement, our clarity of understanding and purpose and the flexibility to move with ease and to do the right thing.

In Mary Oliver’s wonderful poem, What I Have Learned So Far, she writes,

“Can one be passionate about the just, the
ideal, the sublime, and the holy, and yet commit
to no labor in its cause? I don’t think so.......
Be ignited, or be gone.”

Is it enough simply to improve ourselves or to gain insight into what we believe? I don’t think so. The strength we develop in our asana practice calls us to action. To fully engage with life we must embody the understanding we gain and carry it into our world in all of our endeavors and interactions. Just as we find our alignment in Virabadrasana, the Warrior postures on the mat, so will we stand firmly on the solid ground of our truth, able to meet each moment with a courageous and compassionate heart. May it be so for you.

Namaste, Penny

The triumph of yielding

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 19:52:26 -0600

Nothing in the world,
Is as yielding and receptive as water;
Yet in attacking the firm and inflexible,
Nothing triumphs so well.
Because of what it is not,
This becomes easy.
The receptive triumphs over the inflexible;
The yielding triumphs over the rigid.

-Lao Tzu
Tao-te-ching

Lai Tzu, the author of the Tao-te-ching, wrote these words in the 5th century, BC. They are as wise and relevant today as they were 2500 years ago.

Sometimes it's hard to see that our thoughts and often our actions are inflexible, rigid, reflexive. It happens to me, it happens to all of us. One of the amazing benefits of practicing yoga is that gradually we are able to see ourselves with more objectivity. It becomes possible to watch our thoughts and the patterns of our thoughts arise and to see how often they fall into the ruts of repetition. These habits of thoughts, which are in response to external events or encounters, then result in reflexive behavior. Sometimes this behavior is destructive to ourselves, our relationships and even our environment. We often carry the tension this creates in our physical bodies as chronic pain, anxiety, restlessness even lethargy.

In the same way that a stream or a great river meanders, finding it's way through the softer more porous layers of the stream bed, we can overcome what may have seemed like insurmountable obstacles. We too can travel enormous distances in our intrapersonal landscape when we are able to receive our experience just as it is and yield our control of the outcome.

Ultimately, this is what yoga is about. The journey of discovery of ourselves. Often we stand rigidly in our own way, sure of what we need and how to get it. Full of plans, directions and criticism. Whatever we think we want or need seems to be somewhere 'out there' where we can locate it and finally, hopefully, reel it in.

When we step onto our yoga mat with the intention to yield our imagined control over our experience, to open the sense gates wide and allow whatever arises to enter our body and our mind, then we will be ready to accept and welcome our true selves.

Let yourself be water, not merely floating along on the current, be the river and the river bed. Be soft and receptive and always moving deeper into discovery. Yoga points to the way into, not out of yourself; to the deep water where in the words of the poet Rainer Maria Rilke, "…life calmly gives out its secrets."

Namaste, Penny

You can be a peacemaker

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:07:36 -0600

Sometimes it seems that the world is so full of violence and aggression that nothing we can do could possibly make a difference. When I begin to feel hopeless and helpless I am reminded of the words of Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha, " Someone who is happy would never hurt another."

The one thing I can do to stop the spread of violence is to be happy and bring Metta, loving-kindness, into the world. Yoga is a Metta practice. It is a way to enter happiness as a state of mind, rather than as a feeling, which is dependent on either other's opinions or things we want or have achieved.

Think about this. When we are feeling truly, unconditionally happy a sense of well-being and peace enters us. It feels like we are bathed in sunlight from the inside. Gratitude arises then and we can't help wanting to share this feeling. Generosity moves us to pass our happiness on to others and they in turn are inspired to do the same.

Yoga practice on the mat leads us through the sense gates of the body, the five senses, to explore feeling, change and discovery while at the same time practicing freeing the mind of judgment, conditions and expectations. As our focus of concentration on sensation increases with each moment, we begin to feel the serenity of unconditional happiness.

Cultivating Metta, loving-kindness, and ultimately happiness is a powerful way to bring peace into the world. The view from our yoga mat shows us that we are connected to all beings everywhere. By cultivating happiness in ourselves we spread Metta to all parts of this web of life. How could it not be true that when we are truly, unconditionally happy, we cannot harm another being or the earth, which supports our life?

In addition to yoga, the practice of Metta meditation, loving-kindness practice, is another powerful way to bring peace and happiness to life. I like to meditate after my yoga practice when it feels natural to sit in stillness for a period of time. This is just my personal preference and you might already have a time for your meditation practice or plan to begin one.

When we sit we repeat these words or something similar that you prefer, silently, directed first to ourselves:

May I be safe from harm.
May I be healthy and strong.
May I embrace this moment just as it is.
May I live in peace and happiness.

When you have finished move on to directing your words to someone you love dearly, and name them.

May (Ellen) be safe…..etc.

After you have wished your loved one Metta, bring to mind a difficult person and saying their name direct your words to them.
Finally direct your fourth round of Metta meditation to all beings:

May all beings be safe from harm.
May all beings be healthy and strong.
May all beings embrace this moment just as it is.
May all beings live in peace and happiness.

The next time you step onto your yoga mat remember that you are helping to bring peace and happiness into the world. Every effort matters and can make a difference. May you live in peace and happiness in each moment that arises.

Namaste, Penny

What lies within

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 18:42:25 -0600

What lies within is often hidden, in some cases for over 2000 years, which is just what happened to this beautiful fresco of a fanciful garden. The painting covered the walls in the dining room of Villa Livia, the home of Emporer Agustus and his wife Livia, outside Rome in 54 AD. It was buried under the rubble of ancient Rome and unearthed in the 19th century by archaeologists.

A friend gave me a bookmark of this gorgeous mural which now can be seen at the National Museum of Rome. I was amazed to learn about it’s history and awed by the delicacy of the design and it's beautiful colors. I felt a deep connection to another time and place, not just to Livia’s long ago world but also to the artist whose imagination and skill created this beautiful work of art which had been lost to the world for thousands of years.

It made me wonder, what beauty, what capacity for creativity lies hidden in all of us? What would it take to unearh it? Like the Villa Livia we too are filled with hidden treasures. Bringing them to light is one of the surprising aspects of yoga that many people discover when practice becomes an integral part of daily life.

VITARKA MUDRA: THE TEACHER

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 20:26:34 -0600

Deepak Chopra writes that a dynamic exchange operates in all of nature. Giving and receiving, he says, are two aspects of this universal energy. We don't often make this association when it comes to giving or receiving gifts, but it is there nonetheless. Energy is the dynamic heart of giving and receiving.

Most of the time we are unaware of this energy and tend to cling to the idea that gifts come strictly in the form of material objects, especially now at holiday time. It feels wonderful to give gifts to others and everyday whether or not we are aware of it we give and receive great gifts.

At the heart of yoga is the understanding that all beings are connected and interwoven in the vibrant web of life. When we make an effort to give something of ourselves, it is the gift of recognition and connection to another. It's no more difficult than smiling at a stranger, opening a door for someone, playing with a child or a pet. These gifts we can give boundlessly and in return we are receive the gift of joy.

This is the dynamic exchange that Deepak Chopra speaks of. Now is the perfect time to begin Giving: As A Practice. Bring the spirit of yoga into your daily life, your life off the mat, and give a gift to every being you encounter throughout your day.

Namaste, Penny

The energy of giving and receiving

Tue, 9 Dec 2008 21:18:48 -0600